Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

Can I hold your hand hand hand hand?

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

What should you do if you're cold?

Stand in the corner, because it's 90 degrees.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire?

Bernie.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Why was the schwa bad at giving speeches?

He said "uhh" way too much.

Spine Jokes More Spine Jokes

What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Spine

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.