Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why?

Because they like to pump kin.

Why are women so afraid of looking stupid?

Because they don't want the world to know!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did little Johnny lose his ice cream?

He got his by a bus. My little brother just told me this!

What did Han.... Tell Leia after they separated?

May Divorce be with you.*

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What did you win?

Atrophy

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What do you call cows that are best friends?

Brovines.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

What do you call someone who lost an election by 2 million votes?

Mr. President.

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke