Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar?

I don't know.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

What does that tell you?

4-year-old: I won.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

Why did the ambulance show up to a tennis match between Number 8 and Number 9?

The umpire called it: nine won one.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

Which states is Bernie most popular in?

Denmark, Sweden and Norway.