Good Friend Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What do you call cows that are best friends?

Brovines.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

What did Tupac say when his best friend died?

No Biggie.

What did the boy say when his dog died?

What did the boy say when his dog died? I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Why should a man never bang his best friend?

He'll probably catch fleas

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Who is your best friend?

Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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How much for the best friend?

Manager : Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

Why is SAE not that racist?

Because some of their best friends are black... for halloween!

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Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter?

Cairo-practor.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a shirt has phoned you?

Collar ID

How does a black women know if she's pregnant?

All the cotton on her tampon has been picked off.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you seperate the men from the boys?

A crowbar.

Why did the man throw duck food at Nurse Jackie?

Because she was a quack.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the storm trooper get an iPhone?

He couldn't find the Droid he was looking for

What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's?

A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?

Gravitational Wave Jokes More Gravitational Wave Jokes

What led to the discovery of gravitational waves?

A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama

What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves?

Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now