What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

What do you say when a dog runs away?

Dog-gone!

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do men and hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

How do Ghosts lay foundations?

With a spirit level!

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How do these presidential candidates sleep at night?

With an electorate blanket.

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

Insomniac Jokes More Insomniac Jokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

What do you get when... ...you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Contemplate Jokes More Contemplate Jokes

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.