What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

What did the pot-smoking alien say when asked what toppings he wanted on his sammich?

Ayy lil' mayo.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have?

Because no matter the sport, he would always play write

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

Socrate Jokes More Socrate Jokes

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)

Soccer Jokes More Soccer Jokes

Why are Asians no good a football ( soccer) ?

Because whenever they get a corner they open a shop !

What do you get when you combine Soccer and Baseball?

Golbat.