Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

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Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

He was Russian.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

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Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

How do porcupines make love?

Very, very carefully.

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Why didn't the coffee and the tea get along?

Because they were being "brewed"

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

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What do you get when you cross France and Britain?

Canada.

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans