Why is Russian the most dangerous language to learn?

Because it's Russki.

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Why was WWI so short?

Because they were Russian... Why was WWII so long? They were Stalin...

Why is Vladimir Putin always Russian?

Because he's never Finnish.

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What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?

His red wings.