Why isn't my hand 12 inches?

Because then it would be a foot

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

What's wrong with that?

You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the child with no hands get for his birthday?

Nobody knows yet.

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

12 Inch Jokes More 12 Inch Jokes

What's 12 inches long and white?

Nothing.

What's white and 12 inches long?

Absolutely nothing.