Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

because there was no jack.

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Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

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Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone?

It was counter-inuitive.