Why was Luke Skywalker late?

He didn't run, ewok-ed.

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What did Luke Skywalker say to his sister's bully?

Don't you Leia finger on her

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

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Who busted you out of Iraq?

Well actually, I-ran

Whats the difference between children and lesbians?

Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs.