Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Why did the peasant have poor judgement?

He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What number is higher than infinity?

420

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

Why is the archaeologist depressed?

Some old stuff just got dug up

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!"

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"