Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why is Bruce Lee so good at telling jokes?

Because if his punch line doesn't work, you still get a kick out of it.

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

Who is driving?

A cop.

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".