Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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Oinkment Jokes More Oinkment Jokes

What does a pig use for his skin?

Oinkment.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What kind of fabric does Mario use?

Denim denim denim.

What do you call a nun using katana?

Nunja.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did they plant trees in Harlem?

Public transportation.

Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree?

It was taped.

Flu Jokes More Flu Jokes

How did you get here?

he asked. And the new angel replied "Flu..."

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!"

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?

You know you need a psychiatrist!

Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon?

It don't need cleaning!

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?

A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!