Can I watch the TV?

Yes, but don’t turn it on.

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What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

When is a car, not a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

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What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

What do you say when you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?

Drop it Ni**a (sorry for the offensive word)

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Why was the young snowflake so upset?

Because he just watched his mom get plowed.

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.