Tv Jokes

Why cant you watch TV in Afghanistan?

Because of the tele-ban.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's faster than a black man running with a tv?

His cousin with the DVD player

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

Put it down, Tyrone!"

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

What did the police officer say to the white man running away with a TV?

Sir, you dropped your receipt!"

What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

What kind of TV show do felines watch?

Catoons

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

His son with the xbox.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you say when you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?

Drop it Ni**a (sorry for the offensive word)

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?

Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

How does a poor man watch TV?

with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.

What did the tv say to the remote control?

you turn me on"

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why do blacks keep on getting stronger?

TVs are getting heavier.

What does the last man on earth watch on tv?

Reruns

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

Where were you?

Uh, with my.. gf " Gf Well, tell us about her! What's her name commercial on tv uh.. Lisa.. Brandnewtoyota

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser?

They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.

What should you do if you see your TV floating?

Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy.

What's on the TV?

I said "Dust!"

Where do tv's go on vacation?

To remote Islands

What did the tv get for Christmas?

Replaced

What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

Why are there commentators for televised sports?

We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv

Why does a rooster watch TV ?

For hentertainment !

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

Who.. Plays The Guitar.. Boy: How Do i play the guitar ?

Girls: You Should be on TV for your talent. Boy: Am i so good ..... Boy : if you were on TV, i can atleast switch it off...

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome."

Why do they keep making TVs thinner and thinner?

To keep up with the content.

How do you know if a black person used your TV?

It's not there anymore.

Why couldn't they show the orchestra concert on TV?

There was too much sax and violins.

Where is the English Channel?

Student: I don't know, my tv doesn't pick it up

How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?

During PRIME time!

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

Where is the English Channel ?

Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up

Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ?

Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV.

Can I watch the TV?

Yes, but don’t turn it on.

You might also enjoy:

Dodge Jokes More Dodge Jokes

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

Sunni Jokes More Sunni Jokes

What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS?

They really scared the Shiite outa me!

Why can't Shia Joe travel in eastern Pennsylvania?

Because it's always Sunni in Philadelphia.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get with a woman majoring in woman's studies?

I don't know but she'll never make as much as a man AND SHE KNOWS IT!

How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black?

You can't take a rib from a black man

Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

What did God say when he made the first black person?

Damn, I burnt one...

When does a black person goes to school?

When it's being built!

Offer Jokes More Offer Jokes

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

What's the difference between an Hawaiin and a Muslim ?

One always offer a snack bar after saying hello

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Who was the best player on the Seahawks last night?

The Broncos' center

Where do Dutch sheep go at night?

TO SHLEEP! :D

Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

What Does A Redneck Call It When He Visits His Cousin Outside His Town?

Entering the friend zone.

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.