What should you do if you see your TV floating?

Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy.

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Float Jokes More Float Jokes

Why are there no nice cars in heaven?

Because abortions float.

Why is little Annie's shoe floating in the sea?

Because the shark burped.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa?

Nelson Candela

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's a machinists favorite song?

Turn Down for What!

Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange. . . Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What is large and grey and shoots tourists in Africa?

An elefanatic, of course.

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

What is the difference between batman and a black guy?

Batman can walk into a store without Robin