How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop?

A joggernaut.

Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist?

He couldn't stop dropping the base!

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you get two rednecks to play Banjo in unison?

Shoot the first one.

What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich... Also an ambulance.

Why are Dutch people so tall?

The short ones drowned in the floods

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What does Chris Brown tell his friends when he sees Rihanna at a party?

I hit that.

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark?

Professional courtesy.

Whats the odd one out ?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.