How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a 6'4" 300lb black kid from charging?

You take away his EBT card.

What happened to all the Paul Walker jokes?

It seems like they started going pretty fast, then just...stopped.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What causes dry eyes?

Ducts out of water ...

Why do scuba divers fall into the water backwards off the boat?

Because if they went forward they'd be in the boat

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How'd you die?

I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You " "I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen" "Oh.."

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What can relax you and drown you at the same time?

A one-hour facial.

What are you fishing for sonny?

Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)

What's the worst part of getting hit in the face with pie?

It's never ending.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did one lawyer say to another lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.