What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What did the tv say to the remote control?

you turn me on"

What do you say when you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?

Drop it Ni**a (sorry for the offensive word)

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face?

He couldn't see it coming

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

What ghost is handy in the kitchen?

A recipe spook.

How many bruthas does it take to clean a kitchen?

None, that's women's work!

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

View Jokes More View Jokes

What's your view on lesbians?

1080p

What do Jedi use to view PDF files?

Adobe-Wan Kenobi

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco