Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

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What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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What is one thing that both Australians &amp Americans share the same view on?

1961

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

What animals do you bring to bed?

Your calves.

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow?

Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!

Whats the similarities between black people and bikes?

Both cant work without chains.

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?

A. Polaroids.

What do you call a fanny on a fanny on a fanny?

A block of flaps

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What did the tv get for Christmas?

Replaced

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?

Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

Bakery Jokes More Bakery Jokes

How do they package bread at the bakery?

They baguette.

What do you call a red-head that works at a bakery?

A ginger bread man.

Length Jokes More Length Jokes

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.