How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ?

Sleep in the wardrobe !

How do you get an anorexic chick in bed?

Well, it ain't a piece of cake.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What do you call a tissue that is sleeping?

A napkin

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.