Length Jokes

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why didn't the hippie save the drowning swimmer?

He was too far out man

What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction?

What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction? One can... "Get Hard"

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What happened when Hamlet discovered his love dead?

Necro-Ophelia

What do you call an octopus that loves jokes?

A knock-knocktopus.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

How do deer get revenge?

By giving each other a taste of their own venison

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

One has a d where the other doesn't.

Who seduces all the ladies at the swimming pool?

Don Juan de Marco Polo.

Calculate Jokes More Calculate Jokes

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac?

A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog.