Calculate Jokes

How do you calculate a girl's impulse?

F dt bich

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

Absolute Jokes More Absolute Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What is a oreo?

2 gang members smashing a white boys face.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys?

A Wind-up Merchant.

Why did Bernie Sanders's chicken restaurant throw out so much food?

He only sold left wings.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?

Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What is your favorite type of wood?

Mine is morning.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are Americans bad at League of Legends?

Cause they can't protect their towers.

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.