Calculate Jokes

How do you calculate a girl's impulse?

F dt bich

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

You might also enjoy:

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What does Rick Ross say after opening a pack with only Hershey's in it?

Ain't no merci

What's an Irish seven-course meal?

A six-pack and a potato

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill?

Running . . . JK! Rolling

Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc?

A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did Ellen Pao punch the puppy?

Cause shes terrible.

Why can't Mexicans bow hunt?

Cause they don't Habanero!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons?

if you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.

What do Australians use for sun burns?

Aloe, mate. I'm sorry

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

What wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends?

A ditch.

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Sith Deal Jokes More Sith Deal Jokes

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.