What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary?

He didn't want to be mainstream.

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call two women standing side by side?

Four abreast!

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a one foot tall man painting the side of a house?

Answer: On a quantum level, there is no difference.

How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

What do you call it when a Catholic renovates his kitchen?

A counter reformation.

Why did the women cross the road?

Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen !!!