How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

Why didn't the homophobe decorate his house for Halloween?

Because his skeleton was in the closet

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his driveway?

Because he was snowed in.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.