Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold.
When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse.
A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"
while holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce.
Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"
Shoes wisely
