How did God get Mary pregnant?

He used the holy immaculate contraception

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What does Leia say when she needs help?

I think I could use a Han here.

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

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What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

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Why did Mary fell from the swing ?

Because she hasn't got arms !

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs