How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

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How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

Why don't Episcopalians play chess?

They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen

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Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

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What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

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How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't. You get down off a goose.

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)