How did the Santa Lawn Ornament feel the day after Christmas?

He was de-lighted.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

What does Andre 3000's menorah look like on the last day of Hanukkah?

ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the Cephalopod get coal for christmas?

Because he was on the nautilust.

What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas?

Cancer!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East?

Happi-ness