What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

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What has 2 legs but doesn't use them?

A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.

Why don't kleptomaniacs have a sense of humor?

Because they take everything, literally....