Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's red and goes "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?

Santa walking backwards.

Why was Santa's little helper sad?

Because he had low ELFesteem

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the homeless got for Christmas?

Hypothermia.

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?

COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What was the best thing Kurt Cobain ever released?

The safety.

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!