How do you find a dirty cop?

Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers

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How do you keep an Idiot occupied?

Click here to find out( http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1v1wqm/howdoyoukeepanidiotoccupied/)

What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away?

A Fraudian slip.

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What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

ANSWER: Milk and honey.

How are you doing?

and you respond 'I'm doing ok. Getting better each day' & they stab you for answering

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What do David Carradine and the Mets have in common?

They both choke when it really matters.

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.