How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?

You ctrl p.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

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What is Poseidon's favourite shortcut?

ctrl + C

How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?

You ctrl p.

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What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read