How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

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What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

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What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

Who's cheese is on those chips?

Fixed And I said, "Well, obviously *na-chos*." Get it It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent.