What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

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What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

Wrap music

What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot?

let me be your *soil*mate

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Why does internet explorer ask so many questions?

Because it's insecure. It has trust issues.

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

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What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

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How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on the definition of lightbulb.

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What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

What did she say about me?

Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that Too many questions Really Me ...What else

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

What's the best part about being an orphan?

All your chips and candy bars are family sized.

What do you call chips that aren't yours?

Nacho chips