Ketchup Jokes

Why is ketchup married to mustard?

Cause ketchup accidentally broke the condiment.

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What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

What happens when you mix mustard and ketchup together?

it's must-up ..

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

What did the mother tomato tell the baby tomato when the baby tomato was walking too slow?

Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Spaghetto Ba-dum tss.

What do you tell a slow tomato?

what Ketchup

What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

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What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

What does Ramen and Ketchup taste like together?

Poverty.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Tomato Jokes More Tomato Jokes

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What did she say about me?

Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that Too many questions Really Me ...What else

Where do I see myself in 5 years?

May 2019. Next question.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How about pets?

That's fine" dog walks in and lights up "We'll take it"

What do you call a smug prisoner walking down stairs?

A condescending con descending

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where did you buy all that junk?

Kid: At the Joke shop.

Why do priests have lots of kids?

They always use the holy condoms.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do cows like to put on their hot dogs?

moostard

Where can I donate to the American Red Cross?

I would like to help with house #7.

2020 Jokes More 2020 Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

Relish Jokes More Relish Jokes

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?

he relished it

Pasta Jokes More Pasta Jokes

What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta?

Maaaac

What did fettuccine say to rigatoni?

Que pasta