How does a sailor remove a condom?

He farts

This joke may have profanity.

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What kind of condoms do frogs wear?

Rib-bed

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

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Why did the monster go into hospital?

To have his ghoul-stones removed.

What would be the worst possible thing to see on Reddit after losing your family in a car crash?

removed (two children)

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Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving