How many people does it take for Valve to change a light bulb?

Two at most.

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

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What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

How many r/jokes redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer is 2. One to change the lightbulb while the other screams "REPOST"

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How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. It *has* to be seven.

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns.

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How many people does it take for Valve to change a light bulb?

Two at most.

What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.