How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Brazillion.

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why isn't a dime worth as much today as it used to be?

Because the dimes (times) have changed.

Why does beer go faster through you than milk?

Why does beer go faster through you than milk? Unlike milk it doesn't have to change color. Why does Budweiser go faster through you than beer? Unlike beer it doesn't have to change taste.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How would you handle a complaint from a customer?

Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.

What does it taste like to go down on a senior citizen?

Depends.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

Which pig is she?

Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

How do you get a philosopher off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.