How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

to get to the other side

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but you have to get them in there first.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

Format Jokes More Format Jokes

How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!