How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You pa- pa- poker face, pa- pa- poker face!

Enslave Jokes More Enslave Jokes

How many chains does it take to enslave a black person in the twenty-first century?

Two Chainz.

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

Harriet Tubman Jokes More Harriet Tubman Jokes

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.