I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegetarian?

He is going to tell you.

How do you know you are sitting next to a ski instructor?

They'll tell you.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

What's the most problematic time of day?

4:04

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe?

More doors.

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

Why do Canadians say aboot?

Because there is too much snow to wear shoes.

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Drug Dealer Jokes More Drug Dealer Jokes

Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

How did the gangster know the drug dealer was selling him a bad batch if meth?

He said : "Nah amine"

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

What did the French man say when he tripped down the stairs?

Eiffel.

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

Lace Jokes More Lace Jokes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

How do you always keep your shoes tied?

Replace the laces with earphones.