I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

Why can't a terrorist tell a joke?

They always bomb the punchline!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you say to a chav that has got a job?

Bigmac and fries please

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

Shift Jokes More Shift Jokes

Why couldn't the laptop go to sleep?

Because it has two shifts.

What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate?

Bro, do you even shift?"