What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They left the plunger in the toilet.

Why have all the immigrants left?

They had no rights.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What does the emperor have when he goes for a sunday drive?

he has Divine Right of way

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

Lean Jokes More Lean Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something?

They're two-tired.