What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

What did 'b' say to his friend 'e' after 'e' saved his life?

AY E! I O U edit: added Y

X Jokes More X Jokes

How many X does it take to change a light bulb?

N! One to change the light bulb, and n-1 to display stereotypical behavioral traits of X!

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between an Irish Party and an Irish Funeral?

One less drunken Irishman

Whats The Devils Favorite Style Of Football?

Possession

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you

How many psychiatrists does it... ...take to change a light bulb?

0, the light bulb has to want to change itself.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

What's at the beginning of the rainbow?

Refraction of sunlight in raindrops

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped."