What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

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Why did Bill and Ted join Islam?

Because they heard it was radical!

Why did the Pasta join a dating website?

Because he was cannelloni.

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Why are branches attached to trees?

Because they stick

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

Whose the most vague person in the Military ?

General Direction.