Military Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

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What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

What do you call black people in the military?

Geurrilla warfare

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

Why don't american have a bullet train?

They use the bullets to train the military.

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What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

Whose the most vague person in the Military ?

General Direction.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

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Branch Jokes More Branch Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Bronie Jokes More Bronie Jokes

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why do bronies get so upset about the friendzone?

I thought friendship was magic

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why was Fam's favorite subject English?

Because it's Lit.

What English King invented the fireplace ?

Alfred the grate !

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?

When it's intersected by a plane

What did the south tower say to the north?

BRB man, I've got to catch a plane. Im soz.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a bear that likes men when it's happy and women when it's sad?

A Bipolar Bear

What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common?

If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over.

English Language Jokes More English Language Jokes

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

Singer Jokes More Singer Jokes

Whats the difference between a North Korean missile and a K-Pop singer?

The singer can have a hit

What rock group has four guys and no singers?

Mt. Rushmore! Happy presidents day!

Suit Jokes More Suit Jokes

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike?

Attire.