Military Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

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What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

What do you call black people in the military?

Geurrilla warfare

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

Why don't american have a bullet train?

They use the bullets to train the military.

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What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

Whose the most vague person in the Military ?

General Direction.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

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Military Coup Jokes More Military Coup Jokes

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup?

Erdogone

Broom Jokes More Broom Jokes

How do you pick up my ex girlfriend?

With a broom and a dustpan.

What do you say to two dust particles making out in the street?

Get a broom, you two.

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?

The lady in church has hope in her soul.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

What did the horse say to the one-legged jockey?

How're ye gettin' on

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

English Language Jokes More English Language Jokes

What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What's the difference between a drummer and shoes in a dryer?

Nothing.

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.