English Language Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

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What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

Which came first. . . social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

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What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year?

Avo, CA does.

What do you call a man under a pile of leaves?

Russell. What do you call a man under a pile of leaves for thousands of years Pete.

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare (air) mail.

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

What are the most useless items ever invented?

A: Condoms. If you need one, she's too old.

Which scientist invented the nuclear powered floor cleaner?

J. Robert Moppenheimer

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why is Tina Fey so good with her use of irony?

It's in the name...

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

What's a woman's best curve?

Her smile.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

Social Medium Jokes More Social Medium Jokes

How do you call the social media that your grandmother uses?

Instagran

What's a social media for married people?

Weddit

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

Why are planes strong?

Because they can LIFT

What bird can lift the most?

A crane