What did 0 say to 1?

You're turning me on!

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What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship?

He turns off his Xbox.

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Why do push up bras not work for some girls?

Because 0x0 is always 0.

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

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Why did 9 bust 1?

Because 6 8 9

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.