What did the accountant with constipation do?

He worked is out with a pencil.

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How did the mathematician solve his problem with constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil

How do mathematicians solve constipation?

They just work it out with a pencil!

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What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.