What did the light bulb say to the switch?

You turn me on."

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict?

One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless.

How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

Drive a bus through a pride parade

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many Libertarian Capitalists does it take to change a light bulb?

I ain't buyin those fancy Big-Government ones. The free market idn't ready.

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

How Many Running Backs Does It Take To Turn On A Light?

Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it.